A Couple Counselor Teaches How to Tell the Truth without Causing Too Much Pain

Posted by : Debra Stern & Associates | On :

We’re all accustomed with the saying ”truth hurts”, but it doesn’t have to hurt all the time. In many cases, it’s not about the truth itself as it is about how you choose to reveal it. It’s true that sometimes, telling the truth may cause pain and suffering, but not telling the truth hurts more. Honesty is the key to a healthy relationship. But the way you present the facts can sometimes hurt more than the truth itself. As a marriage counselor, I’m dealing with such issues on a daily basis. Here is some useful information from me to you, about how to be honest and truthful in your relationship without hurting your partner.

Treat before it gets too bad

Some problems are serious enough to threaten the survival of a relationship. These issues should be addressed as soon as possible and with as much care as possible. Generally, being honest and truthful about your opinions can make certain underlying issues even more problematic. It is essential that you choose a “neutral space” when revealing a certain personal opinion about your partner – opinion that you know it may cause pain or conflict. This “neutral space” can very well be the counseling office. Talking about your issues in front of a couple counselor has certain benefits, and the most important one is that you can find a solution to the problem in the very same moment.

 Avoid verbal malpractice

Some people are more delicate than others. Some respond to confrontations different than others. It is easy to blame your spouse saying “He/she is so sensitive”, but the truth is that most conflicts can be resolved with patience and soft words.

Benign vs. malignant lies

As I said, relationships thrive in honest and open environments. But in some situations, full disclosure can be both unkind and unnecessary. It is crucial that you refrain yourself from being too frank with your partner. Never tolerate chronic habits, but try to make a compromise when it comes to the little things.

 If you want to talk your problems over with a specialist, then contact Debra Stern & Associates. As a marriage counselor, I have helped many couples see their relationships with clearer eyes. Our office is located in Oak Park, IL and you can schedule an appointment at (773) 525-7942.